“Citing a general feeling that it has been a while since one last occurred, the FBI warned Monday that the nation should prepare for the possibility of some kind of crazy, cult-related mass suicide. “It is our opinion that members of a fringe organization somewhere in the United States will more than likely engage in a sizable group suicide very soon,” FBI director Robert Mueller told reporters at an early morning press conference. “I mean, can you believe we’ve gone this long without one? It’s been what—10, 12 years? Too long. You just know some charismatic nutjob’s planning something totally insane that’s gonna be like, ‘Whoa. Those people are nuts.’ Right? Mueller explained that the act could be carried out by an isolated sect that sees itself as the victim of a government conspiracy, or perhaps a religious movement wanting its members to cleanse their souls prior to a significant astronomical event. Whatever the circumstances, he warned, all Americans should steel themselves for the grisly details of “a big group of weirdos knocking themselves off in a bizarre, ritualistic fashion.” -cont’d @ link
